While the Cockney language is dying out, the art of Copy ain’t.  

 

 

‘ave a butchers…

Butchers Verb

/ˈbʊtʃ.ərs/

(truncated; butcher’s hook.)

Rhyme; Butcher’s Hook - Look.

Definition; To utilise ones vision to observe something. ex; Bob had a butchers at the Jellied Eels but didn’t much like what he saw.

Alright my ol’ China!

So you are looking for some sort of creative type to write some copy, and it just so happens that I am a Freelance Copywriter. Perfect! But what can I offer you? Well, by this point you may have noticed that I’m a Cockney. Born within the sound of the Bow Bells, that “Cheeky Chappy” character is certainly an influence when writing. But it doesn’t all have to be fun and games. With an engineering background and years of writing technical documents for industry giants such as London Underground and Balfour Beatty, sensibility and accuracy come naturally too. So, be safe in the knowledge that your website, social media post, e-mail, or whatever it may be, will be researched, well written, persuasive and effective.

You might be asking yourself “that’s good an’ all, but…”. Well, if you have gotten this far, I have at least done my job and piqued your interest right? Still, I suppose some evidence to back up my claims wouldn’t go amiss. As the saying goes, ‘ave a butchers, at this here snippet of a library of projects that I have under my belt.

China Noun.

/ˈtʃʌɪnə/

(truncated; My Old China Plate.)

Rhyme; China Plate - Mate.

Definition; An acquaintance or friend. ex; Bob often enjoys a cheeky pint down the local public house with his Old China.

Copywriting with Charm

  • expondo

    Making the transition to a more modern tone of voice, expondo asked for my help to re-write their C-level bio page to make them sound more snazzy and inviting.

  • Hotel Les Grangettes

    Being one amongst a million hotels found in the French alps, I have been helping Les Grangettes to scream and shout above the crowds via website content, blog posts, social media and Google ads

  • Jacks

    When a swanky bar with good food and music asks you to help with their social media presence, you say sure….sign me up!

  • Copiña

    Class in a glass! Copiña is an upmarket cocktail and tapas bar that needed some help to add a bit of that sophistication to their e-mail and Google ad campaigns.

Your Uncle Bob

Copywriting Services

Do you have something more obscure in mind? That’s where I shine, creating bespoke copy that meets your needs, and always with a bit of charm and wit. Here are some of the more common services that are requested, but I’m all ears to your ideas;

SEO

Search Engine Optimisation, or “Free Advertising” as I like to call it. Climb the Google search ladder and reach that No.1 spot. Effective use of relevant search terms in your meta descriptions, keywords in your titles and headers will certianly help and that’s where I come in, except not for free.

Google Ad’s

Want something short and punchy or maybe something a little more sophisticated? I can help either way. Some Copywriters will tell you they find this boring, but the masicist in me likes the challenge these bring. Click through rates are the name of the game, and I play to win.

E-Mail

You got mail! Buy my product! Click here now! Yup, annoying. You don’t want old hashed out tropes in your E-mail marketing. It’ll just end up being the only spam that doesn’t come with egg and beans. I’ll write you some copy that will be read, saved and archived and generate more wealth than a Nigerian prince.

Social Media

I get it, we all live our lives with one eye permanently glued to that small 6” screen in our pockets. I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere. That small screen is the perfect gateway to our souls. Make the deal with the devil and imprint your brand on that soul.

Website Copy

You don’t want a website that flops, you need a website that pops. Sure, that sexy picture you took of an art deco looking bookshelf might turn a few heads, but it’s your words that sell. More importantly, the ‘sound’ of your words. Why copy and paste tired old concepts, when we can create something fresh and new?

Technical Writing

I’m pretty smart me. In a previous life, as an accomplished Civil Engineer, I wrote many technical documents for the industry. From proposals and cost comparisons to method statements and technical standards, I’ve written some very techy stuff with some pretty simple words. I can make it complicated too if you really want.

Uncle Bob Noun.

/ˈʌŋk(ə)l//bɒb/

Rhyme; Uncle Bob - Job.

Definition; A task or piece of work, especially one that is paid. ex; The Cockney Wordsmith always does an excellent Uncle Bob when it comes to your copywriting needs.

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit.

As the late, great Bob Hoskins once said, “It’s good to talk”. So get the ball rolling, drop me a line, and we’ll discuss your next project. Cheers!

Rabbit Verb.

/ˈrabɪt/

(truncated; Rabbit and Pork.)

Rhyme; Rabbit and Pork - Talk.

Definition; To engage in conversation with another, to discuss or negotiate. ex; Bob loved his wife, but she didn’t ‘alf like to rabbit.